I have done some deep thinking and praying over the last two days. Yes, over the tattoo. I am angry about the judgment out of some of you. The people, I have come to call, friend. How can anybody sit and judge another person? I do believe that there is only One holy... Jesus. That would mean, yes, you are a sinner too. Sorry to tell you that, but we all fall at the same level. Sinners. Saved by grace. Saved by the cross. Saved by Jesus.
If you tend to judge me and my inking, well, you better sit down for this one. I had the sun tattoo on my back the whole time that you have been talking to me, throughout this last year in blog land. oops... I got it when I was seventeen years old too. Without my parents permission! oops... Yup, I'm a sinner. Saved by grace. Saved by the cross. Saved by Jesus.
I had chosen a sun, because I was referred by some, as "Sunshine." So, I got a sunshine as my trademark. Stupid, maybe. It's there though. Forever. So with that said, I decided to add a rainbow with my little boys name and birth/death date. I thought about it over and over, for the last eighteen months. I thought about the pros and cons of it. The good, outweighed the bad, to me. The good, I get to share my son. The bad, he's gone. No regrets here. Sorry.
My back tells a story. A story that is to hard to talk about, in the store, street, church, or any where for that matter. It says, "Isaiah was here"... and loved so much that I would spend an excruciating two hours, with the feeling of a butcher knife going through my skin, over and over. No regrets here. Sorry.
Some food for thought... How do we as people, represent Christ, if we call ourselves, "Christians," and sit and judge people? From my personal experience, people who don't want anything to do with "God," are the ones that are disgusted by us, the Christians. Yes, we are supposed to represent Christ, always, BUT, with love. What does the bible say about love? If you are one that can sit and judge others, along with the judgment of me, than you would be very educated on the Bible, and know what it has to say about love. You will touch a lot more lives by loving, than you will by judging.
I was treated unfairly yesterday, cheated out of something, because of my "inked-up-back." I'm sure this person didn't want others to see that she talks with me, a sinner. hmmmmm? Not what I would call, "Christian."
If anyone could really see Jennifer Lynn Ross, the way God does, they would see:
A young woman trying not to become like the world... going under the knife, and transforming her body to fit in...
A young mother who cried out to God for mercy, when the doctor found a brain tumor in her six year old sons head... who watched him be wheeled away through double doors, not knowing if she would ever speak to him again... hold him again, but still trusted her Father.
A young mother who had to give birth to her healthy son early, just to die in her arms, so she could live... but sill trusts in her Father.
A young mother who faced the same horrifying hemorrhage in her uterus, with another pregnancy, another child, but still trusted her Father... cried out to Him for mercy, prayed daily on her knees, for relief from the pain.
A mother who prays with her boys when they wake up in the morning.
A mother who tells her children to pray over their breakfast, lunch and dinner. Even snacks.
A mother who reads a devotion and prays with her children, before bed.
A mother who quietly checks on her boys after they have fallen asleep, and kisses them one more time. Makes sure that their warm enough. Lays her hands on them, and asks a little prayer over each of them to be blessed throughout their lives. Thanks God for them. She trusts her Father, to keep her children safe.
A woman who gets on her knees and prays for some of you out in blog land, for your prayer requests. For God to have mercy in your lives. To lighten up the load of grief in your hearts.
A woman who thanks God for each of you.
A woman who goes to bed very late, just to catch up with your blogs, because she cares. She loves.
A woman who goes to bed feeling completely empty, because she has given herself to everyone, but doesn't care, because she got to give and show love.
A woman who is dying deep inside, but chooses to trust her Father. Believes that He has the greatest plan for her life. Why, because He loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me. No matter what...
A sinner. Saved by grace. Saved by the cross. Saved by Jesus.
No regrets here.
