A Very Special Necklace

I wanted to share a beautiful gift that I received from a new friend. :)  

A few days after I shared the loss of my dear grandma, I got a special e-mail from a complete stranger. Her name is Tabetha. She makes beautiful handmade jewelery, and she wanted to make me a necklace in memory of my grandma. She did this out of the goodness of her heart. It really warms my heart, when someone goes out of their way, to help make somebody else feel a little bit better. Thank you Tabetha. It's beautiful!

( I had a really hard time taking the picture of this necklace. The flash on my camera made the picture a little bright in areas. To me, it has an antique look. )

Moments

I went to the cemetery today. 

I've waited all winter.

To have a moment with my little boy.

I parked my van in the same spot as always. Next to a beautiful birch tree.

I got out and took a deep breath.

I walk my usual path.

I knelt down, on the piece of earth that covers my son.

I took a pine needle off his stone.

I placed my hand on the cold dead grass, as the wind blew over my chapped hand.

I studied his name engraved in stone.

ISAIAH CHRISTOPHER ROSS

I know the story of this brave boy.

A tragic memory, forever engraved in my mind.

With every ounce of my heart, 

I whisper, "I love you Isaiah."

Shortly after...

I find myself saying, "I'm so sorry."

My eyes fill with burning tears.

My soul is pierced with guilt.

It's all because of me.

I slowly get up, and walk back to my van. 

What am I supposed to do?

I do what I know.

In moments like these, I climb into my Father's lap.

He holds me.

He holds my son. 

WOW!!!

My friend, Mary, had this posted on her blog a couple of days ago. I was so moved after watching it. Brought to tears.  I asked her if she would mind if I shared it on my blog too. 

When I got done watching this video, all I could do was say, "WOW!" If this doesn't make you look over your life and the way your living, then I really don't know what will. It's a big eye opener.

Pause my playlist at the bottom first.

Grandma Eleanore

Early this morning, March 13, 2010, my grandma Eleanore went to be with our Lord. She was 82 years young. My heart is broke once again. Someone I love so much... gone... for now. I'm not even going to try and sum up the life of this wonderful woman. She was exceptional in every way possible. Truly a woman that you would want to call friend. I'm thankful that I got to call her more than just friend. To me, "grandma," was her name.


Grandma,

There are not enough words to express how much I love you. For the rest of my years, I will hang onto every memory that I have with you. I will NEVER forget your smile, it was definitely one of a kind. Beautiful. Please take care of my sweet boy until I get there. Tell him stories of his silly mommy. Take the hugs and kisses that I've given you throughout the years, and pass them along to him. One last thing grandma, please whisper in his ear, an "I love you," for me. I love you.

Until we meet again. . .

Your granddaughter,
Jennifer

Reasons

My blog.

Isaiah's blog.

This blog.

Call it what you will......

I have really missed writing and being on here!


During the time that I was moving into our new home, I gave a lot of thought into the reasons for my blog. I asked myself, "Why is it so hard for me not to be on my blog?" I really was starting to feel "yucky" about it.

After about one week, I realized the significance to this very blog. I continually throw my heart out onto these posts, because I am able to share with the entire world, my son. This blog is a way for me to mother my child. That last sentence may offend some readers. "How could this girl compare a blog as a way of mothering her child?" If that's not what I've been doing on my blog, then I ask the question... "What am I doing?"

This blog will never make up for, or replace, the hours, days, weeks, months and years that I have and will be missing out on with my little boy. I have been able to share so many personal things that fill my heart on a regular basis. If you personally knew me, "face to face," you'd know that I am a very PRIVATE person.

So with that written, I look forward to sharing with the entire world, my son. His name wasn't Isaiah Christopher, It is. He was here. He is here. Every day. In my heart. I love you sweet boy.

It's great to be back!