My First Giveaway!

WINNER OF THE ANGEL SNOW GLOBE.................Andrea-Memories As A Mom. Congratulations!!! The worst part of having a giveaway, is only having one winner. :( Thank you to all who participated!


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After blogging for almost two years, I'm finally having my first giveaway! I'm really excited about it too!

The last couple of weeks, I have really thought about what I can do this Christmas in memory of Isaiah. I juggled around the idea of buying and donating a toy to a child that fell in the same age group that Isaiah would be in, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I couldn't last year and I can't this year. I know that it probably sounds terrible to write that, but it would be torture to look for a toy that Isaiah would be playing with right now. I'm struggling enough with the holiday season as it is. I don't need to "open" up the wound more than it already is.

I haven't shared every little detail of Isaiah or my life on my blog, but over time, I'll share little pieces along the way. One very important detail of Isaiah's life that I've never shared, was his due date. Isaiah was due on December 25, 2008........ Christmas day. There are so many details of this little boys life, that just break my heart so deeply. Writing the words, 'I miss him,' just don't quite cut it. My soul completely aches for that little boy.

In memory of Isaiah, I am holding a giveaway of the beautiful angel snow globe below. I bought it this afternoon. I shopped around the last couple of days, trying to find the most perfect gift, and this was just perfect to me. "Silent Night," is the song that quietly plays when wound up. This is my favorite Christmas song of all time. It's beautiful.

This giveaway is open to all. Winner will be announced on December 1st.

To enter, leave a comment about how you feel during the Christmas season. You may even want to share an important detail in your life that you've never told anyone. You never know, you might just end up helping somebody else who may be facing a similar situation and/or feeling.

Good luck & God Bless!

(Make sure and leave your e-mail address if you're commenting and do not have a blog. That way I can let you know if you are the winner!!!)

A Dream.....hanging on

It's been over a year since I've had a dream of Isaiah.

Last night, I finally held him in my dreams. It wasn't good though. It was plain torture to my soul.

In my dream, I remember holding him in my arms, very close to my body. Just as a mother cradles her child with love and transmits a shield of protection, I carried him. The worst part, he was not alive. He was beautiful and peaceful looking, just as he was in the hospital, when I was able to hold him and spend time telling him how much I loved him.

During the dream, I had to keep hiding. I remember walking from one room to another. A man was coming to take him and bury him.*tears* It was horrible. I couldn't let the man take him.

I made myself wake up after the man had found me. I just couldn't bare the thought of walking away from him again.

I've never been able to let go. I'm still trying to wake myself from this living nightmare.

I'm still hanging on.......

Isaiah's 2nd. Birthday Slidshow

Below, is the slideshow that I put together for Isaiah's 2nd. birthday. The song that I had chosen for Isaiah's slidshow, was one of the three songs that was played at his memorial.

The first time that I had heard this song, was at my children's Vacation Bible School. I was 19 weeks pregnant with Isaiah. I remember sitting down, and watching the video for the song and the children singing along. As I watched, my eyes filled with tears. It was so beautiful.

I have a very hard time listening to it though. While sitting in a chair, waiting for VBS to start, I looked over at my friend, and told her how much I hate being pregnant. The reasoning behind this...... my body basically shuts down every time I'm pregnant. It seems as though I can't walk, sleep, or do anything normal. On top of all the health problems that I was having in my pregnancy with Isaiah, I had a terrible head and chest cold. In misery, I spoke on how much I hated being pregnant...... Less than one week later, my precious son was gone.....

I don't believe that I will ever live down my negative words spoken that day..... I took the joy and blessing of pregnancy for granted, and for that, I will never be the same.

(Before watching the slideshow, be sure and pause the playlist on the bottom.)

This photo slideshow made with Smilebox