There is something that has really been bothering me the last couple of days, and I really struggled with it yesterday. I figured that I would share it. It always seems to help when I write down my thoughts.
When I was allowed one final kiss and good-bye with Isaiah, I forgot to take something off of him and take it home with me in my box of treasured keepsakes. I made sure that he was wrapped in the pastel knitted baby blanket that I had held him in for twenty four hours and his soft newborn infant hat. I left my love on him with countless mommy kisses.
But I forgot one thing. His bracelet.
Later that day, after returning home, I dialed the funeral home as quick as my fingers would move, and asked that nice man to take the bracelet off for me. He quieted his voice and spoke,
" Mrs. Ross, the only problem is that I have already sealed the casket."
I don't remember what I had said after hearing that, but I will never forget the feeling that consumed me. That's the same feeling that I have been feeling for the last couple of days. The feeling of loss and regret.
If I had only remembered that tiny piece of plastic.
I can't think of anyone else who I would rather have holding onto it, than my sweet Isaiah...
