Isaiah was scheduled to enter this world, via c-section, on December 16, 2008.
The O.R. contacted me a couple of days prior to the scheduled surgery. In a cheerful voice, the woman on the phone asked to speak to Jennifer Ross. I answered, " this is Jennifer." She went on to tell me that she was calling to give me my arrival time to have my baby!
Standing in the kitchen, with my mouth dropping open, trying to catch the pieces of my heart breaking, I quietly spoke the words, "my son died a few months ago." She went on to apologize for the "mess up," and let me go. At that moment, I could have just died.
Throughout the weeks, I must have went to his grave almost every single day. At one point, I had struggled so severely, my sister contacted my doctor. I was absolutely traumatized by the death of my son. It was just not something that happens every day in my world.
I was so sick, dying in a hospital bed, being told that my son needs to be taken out of my womb. Just like that! Choosing the end... of beautiful life. It goes against every belief I hold in my virtues. The feeling that overtakes my body, literally makes me ill.
The loss of Isaiah has definitely been a painful journey. The months of August and December are my hardest to get through.
Christmas day is not only emotional because Isaiah isn't here with me.......
it was his due date....... December 25, 2008.
My precious Christmas baby......."unwrapped" 145 days too soon.......
~please hold me in your prayers~
