This Shirt

I was going through the top drawer in my dresser, and came upon an article of clothing that I hadn't seen in a very long time. I had purposely buried it so deep within the drawer, so that I would not see it on a daily basis. I actually forgot that it was even there. If you are curious what it was, let me share a picture to give you a visual...........

This is the last shirt that hugged my growing belly. This is the shirt that I lifted over my belly, and watched my little Isaiah dance around in the safety of my womb. This is the shirt that I put on before going to bed that night..... the last night I got to hold him in my belly. The last night I got to feel him kicking..... the night I rode in an ambulance, because something was very wrong.......

After arriving in the E.R., a gown was placed over this lilac colored shirt, and I was taken up to the O.B. department. I went through contractions all night long in this shirt....... I was told that I was dying in this shirt...... and that I would loose him as well....... that little boy dancing so happily, so peacefully within my womb..... I received many blood transfusions in this shirt. I went through labor in this shirt, a labor that was a nightmare..... just to give birth and death all in one....... I was wearing this shirt as his heat beat slowed one beat at a time..... This pretty lilac colored shirt went from hugging my growing belly, to hugging my son that lay in my arms...... This shirt was on me, as his precious soul went from my arms, into the arms of Jesus....

After the delivery, I was taken into surgery with this shirt on. I had to be put under, and have my placenta removed piece by piece, because it had grown into part of my uterus. I received more blood transfusions in this shirt. I came close to my own death in this shirt. This shirt was cut off of me either before I left the O.R., or after arriving in the I.C.U.

This shirt was handed to me shortly before I left the hospital, because it was considered my personal property. I arrived and left the hospital with this shirt.

Today, I opened this shirt up, and laid it on my kitchen table. I put the sleeves together that had been cut, and took both halves that used to be whole, and tried making it look like one piece......... while trying to put my shirt back together, I had a thought; this shirt could really represent my heart, and how it must look after going through the heartbreaking loss of my son. Then, my thoughts turned toward the Lord, and I smiled. "Yes, Father, you have made me whole again. I know that I never will be the same. My heart has been shaped and put together differently, but when I look close, all of the pieces are still there... being hemmed by your hands.